I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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