didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
