I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize