dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I need moral support for this bender
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just puked most of my soul out..
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