Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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