i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
