I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
