Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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