Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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