let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
