cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
