we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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