I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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