they need to just BURY HIM!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
