I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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