I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
