Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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