Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
