i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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