Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
