my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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