did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
