hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Your dad touched me again.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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