I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
