mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
