Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
