My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
