Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
