he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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