It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
