You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
