You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
