so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
