You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
