i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize