I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
is it fun? or sober?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
