That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
