Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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