If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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