Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
