when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
