I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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