We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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