dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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