i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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