I cockslap morals
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
