whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
