No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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