in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
its liver damage thursday
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
