his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
