So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I fill condoms, not promises.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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