My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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