The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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