i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
