this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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