Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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