if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
