Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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