Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
