I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I faked an abortion last night.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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