using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think your dad took our porno
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
