I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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