I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
